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The 7 reasons why some people can't stay alone

the 7 reasons why some people are afraid to stay alone
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay 
We may have come across a lot of people who seem to be afraid of being alone. They just can’t spend time with themselves. As soon as they find out they are going to be alone for a certain period of time, they will work out a plan to keep themselves engaged in some kind of activity to avoid loneliness.

 Here are 7 reasons why some people fear staying alone:

Low Confidence /lack of self-esteem

These people are afraid of being alone as they feel they are not good enough for anything. They will always need someone or the other to share the responsibilities or complete a task. In their mind, they have accepted them as a loser. Not being confident enough, they love to engage themselves in team activities so that if anything goes wrong there are many to blame for: The term “team player”- which is a great quality to carry - must not be attributed to everybody who is a part of a team. 

Love Being Dependent on Others

Since childhood, they have never been the captain of their cricket, football or basketball team. Hardly have they come across situations demanding their sole decisions. Not realizing their failure to lead from front, they deprive themselves of great learning associated with a leader’s failure or success.

Abnormal Childhood

This can further be classified in two subcategories:

Pampered too Much in Childhood

One reason can be that they have been pampered too much in the childhood. They were hardly entrusted with a serious house-holding responsibility. With their wishes are readily fulfilled by their family members, they turn lazy and incompetent. Their failure to acquire required skills on time leaves them behind others, causing depression and stress over a period of time.   

 Not Loved in Childhood

It can also be a reason they have not been showered with required affection. For some reasons, like more than 2 children,one parent has reservations with the other many parents do not pay heed to their child’s growing-up and not offer them the love they deserve to receive in their age. On seeing how their friends are treated by their family, they start developing inferiority complex in themselves, pushing them to mental anxiety. On growing up, they love excessive engagements with various people to stay away from those continuous thoughts that have haunted them over the years. They feel better while sharing their miseries with others.

And of course they are highly likely to get over both the situations .But how they do it can be best illustrated through a great quotation by Viktor Frankl ”It’s not what happens to you that counts , It’s how you respond to it. ”

Some people come out valiantly with whatever impairments they may have in their walks of life or  for that matter, any kind of.

The others may figure out many ways to get over : They may accept things as they turn out for them, and they keep themselves occupied in hangouts, or anything that refrains them from pondering  over the ways to achieve triumph of the misery they are going through . 

Past Incidents

It is found a great number of these people have gone through a lot in their childhood or adolescence such as sexual exploitation, mental harassment etc. Failure in relationships ,in the adulthood, instills a belief in them that they are going to be alone forever, making them vulnerable to being alone .These incidents may strike their mind and heart too heavily to get over with early. They are to be treated with genuine sympathy and love to help them get back to normalcy from all those in proximity.

Want Someone to Share with

Not having this problem at a severe level, they just like to share everything they do every time.  These people do not hesitate in breaking the ice with anybody. Sometimes, these people fall in a relationship with somebody, who can listen to what they have to say, just so as to ensure they always have somebody to share with.

Social Media

According to a research, one person, on an average, spends 142 minutes on social media. Many people around us are seen to be absorbed in surfing the Internet all day long.Though social media has played a vital role in making the communication simpler than ever, it does have serious implications on a large part of society. We take to these platforms to share various activities we do in our daily life. Some people, who have grown accustomed to using them, get tensed by the facts why they  fail to achieve the success reached by the whom they see on social media platforms. Sometime trivial things like why only their selfies are not received well, why no one or very few follow them while others are garnering many. 

Social media ,in a way, has made many people feel alone.  However,they may have many friends or followers, they end up thinking nothing is real: They are alone. This, at times, propels them to behave too politely with whomever they are with to ensure they spend time with them.            


Photo by Bernard on Unsplash
Though i have enclosed both the terms in the same bracket to serve my purpose, the latter one hits much intensely.  At some points, we all experience anxiety.  But some people fail to stop its development to a level where they fear the things normal people don’t, excessive loneliness being one of them. In the initial stage, they feel they should spend time alone to sort out the problems they have, but it may go wrong with some people. They let loneliness feed their mind utter negativity, useless thoughts. On realizing their inability to figure out a solution, they unknowingly push themselves to a state where they just don’t want to be alone, at the same time, they are afraid of revealing it to anybody. These symptoms must be recognized to extend much needed support.

Depression, on the other hand, is far more severe. This nourishes not only loneliness, but also many physical and mental health problems. According to a report, by the World Health Organization in 2018, 300 million people around the globe suffer depression. Though depression causes many severe damages to an individual, it also develops fear and lack of faith in them.

We are required to keep in mind that they are also human and deserve love, care and affection. They may be among our close ones. Sometimes, they just do not reveal what is happening with them, but our keen observation can clear the picture. We need to make them realize that they are complete as an individual, that there is nothing to be afraid of in spending time with themselves, that the problems they have are pretty common and can be overcome in the course of time. Helping them overcome their fear is what we need to do to extend humanity, and it will give us a kind of satisfaction- hard to be framed in words.            


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